As Christmas approaches...tomorrow, I ponder the meaning of Christmas and what it means to me. The gathering of family and friends the closeness of relationships that are so dear to me. This has always been my favorite part of the season but now that I have a child of my own the nativity scene places a strong imprint on my mind. I'm not a church goer but I really appreciate and respect the beauty that comes from the gatherings. This year my mother asked me if I would help her at her church to share my experience about birth for a representation of the mother Mary. As I thought about the birth of Christ and my own birth my emotions grew. All the things that were going on in my mind during the birth of Amazing Grace. My heart was so full it was almost bursting with love the day my Mazi was born. I had thoughts of wonder, contentment, and so much gratitude for the celebration of the moment. I was filled with anticipation for what lay ahead for both Amazing and JJ and I. This is the greatest blessing of my life yet such a heavy burden to be responsible for such a magnificent child of God. I am sure that Mary was also filled with such thoughts and feelings. The season has now changed its meaning completely for me. I will forever think about the birth of my own child during the lights, food, and holiday festivities.
I thought that this year was going to be spent without my Lover, my Husband, my Mr Peek but I was surprised with a visit from him at my parents home yesterday day. Looks like this Christmas will be one to remember as it will be the first spent together as a family with our very own child of God. I woke this morning in JJ's arms while holding Amazing in mine and I felt the spirit of Love surrounding us. I am so grateful for this life I have and the chance to be a mother to such a wonderful girl with such a wonderful man.
Merry Christmas may this year be as memorable to all of you as it is to me.
