Utah! This is Home.

Mr. Peek, Amazing and I got to take a trip out to Utah. My home sweet home in the mountain land.  I love it here. The mountains hold many power spots for me. My soul is liberated and I can connect to the deeper side of life so easily.

Mr. Peek spent ten days with Amazing and I before we had to say goodbye to him. I Just love snapping photos of him and Mazi together...so, this post is full of photos!!!

Amazing loves her daddy so much.

We spent some quality time together with my family. My lil brother Darik got married bringing all sorts of relatives that I haven't seen for many years. I can't believe my lil brother is married??? Our lives are moving into another chapter and it is exciting!! 

I always took my large Utah family for granted and seeing the support at Dariks wedding made me realize how nice it is to have so many people sharing my blood. We truly all have a connection that keeps us so close and loving even though we don't get to look into each other's eyes very often. The distance doesn't change a thing and that is pure magic. 

So many hugs, so much exchange of energy! Mr. Peek took care of Mazi during the wedding so I could socialize and speak to all my relatives and good friends.  Our marriage was simple and only close family was there so I haven't seen many of these peeps in ages.

  Mazi doesn't enjoy the large crowded social scene, spending most of her days with just Jj and I these events can bring on a bit of space suffocation. She does like her space! 

The wedding was, well, with two gorgeous people...Gorgeous! You couldn't ask for prettier people to have matched up. Both Darik and his bride Cara were busy but seemed to really enjoy their day!! I'm so glad my whole family was there!

After all the wedding shenanigans Mr. Peek and I desperately needed some time together. Just. The. Two. Of. Us.....what!!!!

Ya, we totally ate a burger and went to a movie! The first movie since Amazing's arrival into our lives.  It was great!  I really really didn't want him to leave us. We made love. He flew away. 

It was sad. 

Mazi and I are staying the entire month of February.  It's so great being here but when Mr. Peek is away there is a hole in my heart, a piece that's missing and felt each day. 

I always make the best of it though, for Mazi.

We have taken fun walks with cousin Miloh, 

played in the rain, 

Visited art museums,

Hung out with grandma and grandpa. 

Saw lots of our dearest friends.

Watched lady and the tramp WAY too many times, her fav!

We went to the deserts of Utah, good ole St George.

Mazi felt her first touch of dry desert Earth.

 She loved it! We swam daily, walked and I took a meditation session through a labyrinth during nap time.

The desert heals so many wounds. Both Mr. Peek and I have always found it to be our perfect dose of medicine. It was lovely and regenerating.

I returned to northern Utah and played in the snow the next day.

Oh the joys of this lovely state. I have overcome all the politics and look past the parts I thought once trapped me. I feel very free here now!

The mountain accepts and loves me, I feel Gods presence, the Divine that speaks to me in the wilderness. It is peacefully fulfilling and I long for my feet to scale these hills and valleys when I'm away. Such power. Such peace.

My heart is feeling fuller each day. I'm treating myself to some body zoning and I have let go of so much unnecessary built up emotion that has been trapped in my body all the way from young childhood and so on.   I'm not rolling in my old shit I'm just letting it go forever and it is wonderful. I'm more in tune with not taking on others junk and life is feeling light again. It's good. Forever there is personal work to be done but I'm in a good place. I can deal with what still lies ahead in my current place in life. My inner struggles. I've learned a lot on this trip home. I can tell Mazi has too. She is becoming so much more confident in herself.

She has desires already that are more than her needs.  She expresses herself and is communicating so well, I get her, I really do.

She is coming into her own, choosing what she likes in life and I have noticed she is feeling some of her first fears, which we all have to feel. I am here for her.

We are taking this journey together hand in hand. I love my Amazing Grace more than I can ever express, and all the mothers who read this know exactly what I mean!

Again I put out there...thanks! I feel such gratitude! 

~t

The First Illness Strikes!

It happened, I knew it would. Amazing got sick, like we all do but this was her first. The first illness that took her, well, off her feet and into my arms 24/7.  Yes, I held my lil angel 24/7 for three days. She didn't want to do anything, there was no distracting her with toys, books, or even her obsession...babies!
 My nipples begged for a break as they were sucked on consistently one after another.  I could tell that Mazi's lil body was stiff, achy, and uncomfortable.

 She tossed and turned and cried in my arms, yet I could feel her exhaustion.  One day she slept, all day and all night. except for the waking every hour to cry uncomfortably and reposition her achy body.  My heart was broken but I knew that we all go through this and some 5, 6, 7 times or more before 16 months of age. This was her first illness.  I believe it was a case of the flu virus...WHAT!?! The flu you ask, isn't that suppose to kill babies and ruin them for life? No, the answer is no. We have all had the flu.  My baby has a strong immune system and nothing has compromised it as of yet, she is ready to fight what the world passes on. We have a good well rounded diet, Mazi takes vitamin D, & C daily as well as a probiotic she has been getting since 3 months of age.  She drinks water or coconut water only and is still 75% breastfed for her calorie income. She eats lots of fruits and vegetables, few organic GF snacks, nut butters (no allergies) she still doesn't eat sugar. She does eat some organic dairy foods like, whole cottage cheese, kefir, ghee and sometimes raw cheddar cheese.

 Mazi's illness started with a fever, I watched it, it lasted one day and only got to 101.8.  She slept the entire day.  Then, it turned to sneezing, a lil cough mostly at night and a runny nose. This is what I did to help my baby. I have studied a course on Holistic Health to be a Practitioner of Holistic Medicine. I use it on my family but know that I can share what helped us.

Once the fever started it was in the middle of the night, I sleep with her snuggled next to me so I knew she was warming up, I took her clothes off half way and snuggled skin to skin sending her healing Love (works wonders).
First thing in the morning I rubbed a cool cloth on her forehead and gave her Dr, Christophers "Kid-e well" My dear friend is an Herbalist and studied this Dr's wonderful cabinet of healing herbs.  BTW, EVERY over the counter medicine, even the natural elderberry syrups are not recommended for children under 2 years of age. These gentle herbs are easy for our bodies to recognize and utilize because they are simple and not filled with fillers or sugar. I used a dropperfull twice a day for the entire three days and then I just finish out the week cause these are used similar to antibiotics finish out the week is what worked for us. I also kept up with the daily vitamins and probiotics.

Once the fever broke and the cough started I filled up a humidifier, put peppermint, eucalyptus, and tea tree oil in a diffuser and placed these by the bed at nighttime. Her cough was very mild and not deep at all. I cleaned out her nose with a nose frida every morning and night and anytime during the day that her nose kept running. This kept her passages clear since she hasn't learned to blow her nose yet, close, but not yet.

Each night I rubbed a beeswax rub of eucalyptus, and tea tree on her chest and back. Also, I mixed one drop of pure oregano oil from Doterra and a gob of coconut oil on the bottom of her feet to fight the virus, this I repeated morning and night while the cough and runny nose took over my baby.  She still wasn't back to her happy playful self so I knew this was taking a toll on her body and spirit.

I enjoy the healing power of nature and use lots of tools in this realm of medicine.

Mazi takes to crystals and stones really well. Energy is in all things and the Divine energy exists in these elements of nature.  They pull and attract just like anything that is composed of energy, so I use these to extract negative thoughts, energy, or vibrations from whatever needs healing.  Mazi will rub these on her head herself and shake them out when she is finished.  She allowed me to place them on her lungs, throat and head while I talked to her and told her what they are doing to her body.  I believe she is very receptive because she feels the healing power they contain.  Together, we worked to rid her body of what wasn't needed and after three very long days we were successful.  The fourth day she wasn't fully back to normal but I knew we were out of the dark woods when she would talk and play with her babies and treat them like patients, cleaning out their noses and rubbing crystals on them. For more info on crystals read this article http://www.aloradesigns.ca/index_files/howtohealwithcrystals.htm

I know there will be more times of illness in our future and I have turned to so many wonderful mothers whom have helped me learn these skills of healing, love and patience. I want to return that favor and share my experience here.
I have felt so drained and empty myself from the energy I gave to Amazing Grace. I am thankful to have the healing power of Love that all us Mothers have and I am thankful to have the healing power of Mother Nature helping me out.  God is in all of nature and I felt that Divinity as I gave to my girl even when I was exhausted and couldn't really think straight myself.

Things are lookin much brighter!

Hope this helps those who are interested. In the moment, it is brutal but the learning is a triumph...This Too Shall Pass! I'm not even a religious woman and I use this passage so much!

~t