Simply Life

Our Simple Raw Life...A Natural Journey Of Creation

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Conscious Mothering In A Unconscious World

When I found out I was going to be a Mother I was filled with excitement and anticipation.  I knew what kind of Mother I was going to be.  I saw it clearly.  What I didn't see is the challenges that would lie ahead when my sweet lil baby grew into a toddler and started to think for herself.  I encouraged this, excited to see this little person develop into her own being. What I didn't realize is how soon this would happen. 
Already she has her own opinions, her own desires but she lacks the full ability to get her message across.  Her tantrums and emotional outbursts are simply a release of an emotion she doesn't understand or a frustration from a lack of being able to communicate what she is needing from me, therefore leaving me confused and internally irritated!!

I have always known that this is a sensitive time for all children and usually they are placed in a catagory from their parents of "terrible twos!" Oh, how this pulls on my heart strings.  No child going through their toddler stage is terrible, they don't even want to be terrible in my opinion, I believe they want to be understood and they so strongly want to understand and explore their boundaries.  This results in repeating their behaviors good or bad over and over and over again.  What looks to parents like a child purposefully disobeying is just exploration and discovery of their boundaries.  Often, acting out and releasing emotions that we have passed and projected onto them.

Reading book after book seeking some guidance on how to delicately approach this stage with sternness as well as patience I came across "The Conscious Parent" by Shefali Tsabary, PhD (yes, a doctor...I added that because well, humanity seems to only think something is worthwhile if it was said by a doctor....rubbish!)

This book simply states that is is in transforming ourselves as parents that we begin to empower our children.  Taking the responsibility that our children are a reflection of ourselves. They reflect our inner most turmoil and can teach us as parents how to behave more consciously and how to stay present with life healing ourselves and quit putting our inner inheritance of psychological pain and emotional shallowness onto our children.

Both parents undergo a large transformation in their identity while raising children.  For a mother the journey is especially emotional and very spiritual because we hold this growing child within our body for the first nine months and this mother-child bond is particularly unique in its intensity, leading to the complex relationship that is highly symbiotic and profoundly personal.

Often we see our children react and throw these so called "fits" and we don't even see that we are projecting our own emotions onto our children and watching them release them for us! Pain is passed from generation to generation and is such an important aspect of conscious parenting.

 I believe that no matter who you are and what your life story is, what it is you see in others, especially those closest to you, are your own emotions and issues being projected onto them, therefore it is a huge responsibility to all those practicing living in consciousness, to be aware of this and work on yourself.  NO ONE is to blame for whats happened in your life, never was it happening TO you, but FOR you to learn and grow from.....Remember that!!!  We as individuals, especially parents in todays age of conscious awareness, are to change the old patterns of which we have evolved from.  Creating new thought patterns and new conditions from which we react or better yet don't react from! Our perspective must be transformed to free our children from the emotional pain and fears we face.  Emotions must flow freely and fears are meant to dive into and come out the other side transformed to courage! None of this is your essential being!  Few of us have been raised by parents who are in touch with their inner joy.  Those children who are so blessed to have parents whom understand this grow up with a lightness of spirit and an intuitive trust that life is good and wise. These children grow up not fearing life and its experiences but see their inner light and freely express this in the physical knowing that it transcends the physical.  Never once feeling they aren't doing it right, or aren't good enough.  They know they are exactly as they are suppose to be, authentic and uniquely filled with light and inner knowing, they trust themselves because their parents trust themselves!

Adults today are filled with constant activity, consistently preoccupied.  Many of us fill our every moment with some activity, me included! The foundation of our self-esteem rest on the amount we do, how much we earn, how good we look, and how socially connected we are.  Children don't function in this manic state unless we teach them to do so.   Children need to be allowed to live in the moment and celebrate the organic nature of their existence.  If children are caught up in a buzz of constant activity from morning to night even before they reach age five, they don't get the opportunity to connect with their True Self.  All our "doing" is an attempt to distance ourselves from our sense of incompleteness. 

Its a difficult road to travel but one very worth the investment of our children's self awareness.  When we as conscious humans decide to walk the path of parenthood, especially mothers, we absolutely must see our children as perfect in who they innately are and cherish that in them, not imprinting our silly expectations of worth onto them.  

As I watch Amazing Grace come into her own being I am proud to see how she is raising me, she is raising my vibration and I am forever Transformed!!