Friday, September 28, 2012
My Job As A Milkmaid
I always saw myself as a mother who is available to my children, especially in the early years. Because of this vision I prepared myself with an empty schedule. Literally. All my time is now devoted to my baby. Thanks to the wonderful man in my life, I am able to do this. His support is a dream come true.
I am very thankful I did this because getting anything done is almost impossible. Some mothers are able to handle a baby with a job and three other children running around....
how is this done?
I have a baby... one baby and I am constantly at her service. Yes, this is going to change in time, but for now I am practicing attachment parenting, and I am the one who is getting attached. I have her in my arms or in a sling ALL day and night long, sparing an hour or two when her father gets home so that I can crash and take a nap. He even cooks me dinner.
She eats at least every two hours and is gassy so needs to be burped for at least 15 to 20 minutes after she eats. She is one month old today and I have not left the house except to take her for daily walks in nature. We haven't hit the city and avoid public places like the plague.
Am I too protective? Yes, but for now this just feels right. Because I became attached.
In yoga we practice non-attachment to things but how does this apply to our children? I am attached.
This will cause me pain, this will cause me stress, this will cause me grief but this is my choice and I want to be attached to this beautiful Amazing Grace that is now on this planet with JJ and I.
I am attached by the hip, by my breast, by my heart.
This child has taken all my time and I don't want to waste one minute looking at her and holding her for soon very soon she will crawl away, walk away, run away to live her life as an independent person on this planet.
When I feed her I stare at her and watch her suck from my body, my wise body creates just what she needs for her nutrition and growth. I watch her drink in new antibodies strengthening her immune system that will protect her for life, I watch her dimples move in and out as her cheeks work for my mothers milk, I hold her hand and watch, I watch her.
Sometimes it hurts on the first latch but while I watch her I am filled with the hormones that take it all away and make me fall in-Love each time I feed her. This happens every two or three hours of my day and my night, my new job as a milkmaid. I make her milk...this shocks me still. I am magnificent, at least in Amazing's eyes I am, she depends on me and I get to be here for her!
I even changed my eating habits, again, for her to provide the best nutrition and remove some gas from her little freshly working body. Bye-bye chocolate and dairy, broccoli, and beans my baby doesn't need you.
I get lonely and I get bored at times working at my new job, but being away from home from family from friends I will take this time to perfect my new job, as a milkmaid, and a mother!