Personal Transformation

I am starting to feel a little less foggy in the head. I felt like since the birth of Amazing Grace my mind has been filled with a thick fog. I have been incredibly forgetful and I have had absolutely no room for new information to be stored...unless it was dealing with baby health and wellness. JJ would talk about the news and current events and my mind would shut off.  I would stare blankly thinking..."what is the importance of this, it doesn't matter and I don't want to think about it"... does it? does it matter whats going on in the world?

Before I was a mother I didn't stop thinking about current events and the falling apart of the planet and our people.  Now, I look at Amazing Grace and I think..."its not falling apart, its changing and the change will have balance like it always has. Look at my baby, she's perfect, she's new, she's....Amazing! and she is here now on this earth sharing it with us all. Nothing to me, is more important than her.  The world will be just as it needs to be for her too."... I will continue to do my part and be an example of the person I want her to be but I too believe that she will probably show me a better person than myself and I will end up wanting to be like her.

I started to come out of this fog and I needed a change, QUICK! I don't want to fall back to old habits, old patterns that tend to sneak up if not stopped. JJ was highly encouraging and pushes for my changes. He drove me to a salon, made me an appointment and has been the best support in my life. He runs his fingers through my head everyday and even styles it himself. He tells me daily how much he loves it and how beautiful I am.

Yup, I did it! I cut off ALL my hair. I always wanted to have short hair, not because I like it, but because I want to experience it in this life. What is it like to have short hair. To wake up and its not in your face, to go on a jog and not tie it back and midway through the jog have to stop and put it back because it fell out, to not wait half the day for it to dry, to not spend so much money on conditioner, to not have to wear a hat when the windows down in your car, to not have little tiny hairs fall out of your ponytail and tickle your face, to not worry about taking out the large dread lock after a wonderful love making session with your husband!  Oh, I wondered...I wondered what it was like...

Now I know!

Its really really nice!!!

Simple. Just the way I like things to be in life.

What I didn't know is that my hair had a history. A long long history. I have had long hair most my life. I have cut it to my shoulders twice before but always grew it right back out. Never had I cut it all off to fresh, new hair.

It was like I was storing past emotions in my hair, an old me that needed to be released. I couldn't see her because she was trapped in an old suit. Once I cut my hair off it was like the new Tarah, the mother, the wife, the yogi, the health lover, the nature girl came flying to the surface. I didn't need a job to define me, I didn't need long hair to be a woman of the earth, I didn't need a business or anything else I am here and I am growing up with my baby and my new husband. This is me, this is Tarah Lynn Peek. I am free!