Utah! This is Home.

Mr. Peek, Amazing and I got to take a trip out to Utah. My home sweet home in the mountain land.  I love it here. The mountains hold many power spots for me. My soul is liberated and I can connect to the deeper side of life so easily.

Mr. Peek spent ten days with Amazing and I before we had to say goodbye to him. I Just love snapping photos of him and Mazi together...so, this post is full of photos!!!

Amazing loves her daddy so much.

We spent some quality time together with my family. My lil brother Darik got married bringing all sorts of relatives that I haven't seen for many years. I can't believe my lil brother is married??? Our lives are moving into another chapter and it is exciting!! 

I always took my large Utah family for granted and seeing the support at Dariks wedding made me realize how nice it is to have so many people sharing my blood. We truly all have a connection that keeps us so close and loving even though we don't get to look into each other's eyes very often. The distance doesn't change a thing and that is pure magic. 

So many hugs, so much exchange of energy! Mr. Peek took care of Mazi during the wedding so I could socialize and speak to all my relatives and good friends.  Our marriage was simple and only close family was there so I haven't seen many of these peeps in ages.

  Mazi doesn't enjoy the large crowded social scene, spending most of her days with just Jj and I these events can bring on a bit of space suffocation. She does like her space! 

The wedding was, well, with two gorgeous people...Gorgeous! You couldn't ask for prettier people to have matched up. Both Darik and his bride Cara were busy but seemed to really enjoy their day!! I'm so glad my whole family was there!

After all the wedding shenanigans Mr. Peek and I desperately needed some time together. Just. The. Two. Of. Us.....what!!!!

Ya, we totally ate a burger and went to a movie! The first movie since Amazing's arrival into our lives.  It was great!  I really really didn't want him to leave us. We made love. He flew away. 

It was sad. 

Mazi and I are staying the entire month of February.  It's so great being here but when Mr. Peek is away there is a hole in my heart, a piece that's missing and felt each day. 

I always make the best of it though, for Mazi.

We have taken fun walks with cousin Miloh, 

played in the rain, 

Visited art museums,

Hung out with grandma and grandpa. 

Saw lots of our dearest friends.

Watched lady and the tramp WAY too many times, her fav!

We went to the deserts of Utah, good ole St George.

Mazi felt her first touch of dry desert Earth.

 She loved it! We swam daily, walked and I took a meditation session through a labyrinth during nap time.

The desert heals so many wounds. Both Mr. Peek and I have always found it to be our perfect dose of medicine. It was lovely and regenerating.

I returned to northern Utah and played in the snow the next day.

Oh the joys of this lovely state. I have overcome all the politics and look past the parts I thought once trapped me. I feel very free here now!

The mountain accepts and loves me, I feel Gods presence, the Divine that speaks to me in the wilderness. It is peacefully fulfilling and I long for my feet to scale these hills and valleys when I'm away. Such power. Such peace.

My heart is feeling fuller each day. I'm treating myself to some body zoning and I have let go of so much unnecessary built up emotion that has been trapped in my body all the way from young childhood and so on.   I'm not rolling in my old shit I'm just letting it go forever and it is wonderful. I'm more in tune with not taking on others junk and life is feeling light again. It's good. Forever there is personal work to be done but I'm in a good place. I can deal with what still lies ahead in my current place in life. My inner struggles. I've learned a lot on this trip home. I can tell Mazi has too. She is becoming so much more confident in herself.

She has desires already that are more than her needs.  She expresses herself and is communicating so well, I get her, I really do.

She is coming into her own, choosing what she likes in life and I have noticed she is feeling some of her first fears, which we all have to feel. I am here for her.

We are taking this journey together hand in hand. I love my Amazing Grace more than I can ever express, and all the mothers who read this know exactly what I mean!

Again I put out there...thanks! I feel such gratitude! 

~t

The First Illness Strikes!

It happened, I knew it would. Amazing got sick, like we all do but this was her first. The first illness that took her, well, off her feet and into my arms 24/7.  Yes, I held my lil angel 24/7 for three days. She didn't want to do anything, there was no distracting her with toys, books, or even her obsession...babies!
 My nipples begged for a break as they were sucked on consistently one after another.  I could tell that Mazi's lil body was stiff, achy, and uncomfortable.

 She tossed and turned and cried in my arms, yet I could feel her exhaustion.  One day she slept, all day and all night. except for the waking every hour to cry uncomfortably and reposition her achy body.  My heart was broken but I knew that we all go through this and some 5, 6, 7 times or more before 16 months of age. This was her first illness.  I believe it was a case of the flu virus...WHAT!?! The flu you ask, isn't that suppose to kill babies and ruin them for life? No, the answer is no. We have all had the flu.  My baby has a strong immune system and nothing has compromised it as of yet, she is ready to fight what the world passes on. We have a good well rounded diet, Mazi takes vitamin D, & C daily as well as a probiotic she has been getting since 3 months of age.  She drinks water or coconut water only and is still 75% breastfed for her calorie income. She eats lots of fruits and vegetables, few organic GF snacks, nut butters (no allergies) she still doesn't eat sugar. She does eat some organic dairy foods like, whole cottage cheese, kefir, ghee and sometimes raw cheddar cheese.

 Mazi's illness started with a fever, I watched it, it lasted one day and only got to 101.8.  She slept the entire day.  Then, it turned to sneezing, a lil cough mostly at night and a runny nose. This is what I did to help my baby. I have studied a course on Holistic Health to be a Practitioner of Holistic Medicine. I use it on my family but know that I can share what helped us.

Once the fever started it was in the middle of the night, I sleep with her snuggled next to me so I knew she was warming up, I took her clothes off half way and snuggled skin to skin sending her healing Love (works wonders).
First thing in the morning I rubbed a cool cloth on her forehead and gave her Dr, Christophers "Kid-e well" My dear friend is an Herbalist and studied this Dr's wonderful cabinet of healing herbs.  BTW, EVERY over the counter medicine, even the natural elderberry syrups are not recommended for children under 2 years of age. These gentle herbs are easy for our bodies to recognize and utilize because they are simple and not filled with fillers or sugar. I used a dropperfull twice a day for the entire three days and then I just finish out the week cause these are used similar to antibiotics finish out the week is what worked for us. I also kept up with the daily vitamins and probiotics.

Once the fever broke and the cough started I filled up a humidifier, put peppermint, eucalyptus, and tea tree oil in a diffuser and placed these by the bed at nighttime. Her cough was very mild and not deep at all. I cleaned out her nose with a nose frida every morning and night and anytime during the day that her nose kept running. This kept her passages clear since she hasn't learned to blow her nose yet, close, but not yet.

Each night I rubbed a beeswax rub of eucalyptus, and tea tree on her chest and back. Also, I mixed one drop of pure oregano oil from Doterra and a gob of coconut oil on the bottom of her feet to fight the virus, this I repeated morning and night while the cough and runny nose took over my baby.  She still wasn't back to her happy playful self so I knew this was taking a toll on her body and spirit.

I enjoy the healing power of nature and use lots of tools in this realm of medicine.

Mazi takes to crystals and stones really well. Energy is in all things and the Divine energy exists in these elements of nature.  They pull and attract just like anything that is composed of energy, so I use these to extract negative thoughts, energy, or vibrations from whatever needs healing.  Mazi will rub these on her head herself and shake them out when she is finished.  She allowed me to place them on her lungs, throat and head while I talked to her and told her what they are doing to her body.  I believe she is very receptive because she feels the healing power they contain.  Together, we worked to rid her body of what wasn't needed and after three very long days we were successful.  The fourth day she wasn't fully back to normal but I knew we were out of the dark woods when she would talk and play with her babies and treat them like patients, cleaning out their noses and rubbing crystals on them. For more info on crystals read this article http://www.aloradesigns.ca/index_files/howtohealwithcrystals.htm

I know there will be more times of illness in our future and I have turned to so many wonderful mothers whom have helped me learn these skills of healing, love and patience. I want to return that favor and share my experience here.
I have felt so drained and empty myself from the energy I gave to Amazing Grace. I am thankful to have the healing power of Love that all us Mothers have and I am thankful to have the healing power of Mother Nature helping me out.  God is in all of nature and I felt that Divinity as I gave to my girl even when I was exhausted and couldn't really think straight myself.

Things are lookin much brighter!

Hope this helps those who are interested. In the moment, it is brutal but the learning is a triumph...This Too Shall Pass! I'm not even a religious woman and I use this passage so much!

~t

The End Of Another Year

M

I spent the last days of 2013 on the beach of Destin, Florida. My family met up with JJ's sister and her family. We were there for a week and we didn't get to see the sun once. The ocean and it's great power was exactly what was needed for the end of another year. Amazing hasn't experienced the ocean before and it was so exciting to see her reaction. I was shocked! This baby who Loves water more than most things, had a fear of the ocean!! One of Earths meditation icons. 

 She watched it closely as the waves crashed on the shore. I took off her shoes and socks, which made her nervous, the sand was chilly but not too bad, not for the baby who loves being outside, even in the frigid cold. She walked toward the waves, she was so curious, watching the waves roll through the surface moving her way.  As soon as the water touched her toes she lost it! She couldn't even look at the water for about 30 minutes after that. She wanted nothing more to do with the water for the rest of the visit. 

I know this will pass as she grows and develops an understanding  of the powerful water source. I know she felt its energy and realized it was alive and moving on its own, unlike any water she has witnessed before. I never would have guessed this outcome. 

She was however, very interested in the sand though. Picking it up and watching it slowly pour out of her hand all over her clothes. She would watch it pile up on her legs, then brush it off. She loved pushing her hands into the grains of sand and watch them disappear and then reappear when she lifted them out. Her own version of peek-a-boo. It was fascinating to see her explore with sand. I'm so happy to witness these moments of discovery. 

We took her to the beach, all bundled up in a down coat and a hat. The wind was blowing gently and the birds were enjoying the goodies they found on the shore. Mazi stayed close to her Dad and I. Trying to chase the birds she would fall and as soon as she hit the sand, her arms would lift. Not wanting to touch the grainy new earth she discovered. Sometimes, I feel like Mazi gets bothered when her hands are dirty. She loves washing her hands and she always tells us when her hands are gooey. So funny from a girl who loves dirt.   Looking for sea shells wasn't too exciting to her, she lost interest quickly and focused more on chasing the birds, they brought much more fun. 

I simply enjoyed listening to the wind try and tell me how this new year should feel.  Being around my beautiful partner and my adorable child was enough for me. Just walking on the beach brought a bit more clarity. I still don't know what I'm doing but I did come up with some New Year resolutions that I believe I can handle.

1.practice yoga everyday-even if it's just the MDR (minimum daily requirement) or some floor meditation I will get it in everyday!!! My practice deserves this and I know it will help my soul. 

2.love more-everything, especially myself.  I know this makes life better. 

3.desire less-my heart is full of desires, so many that I think it creates so much hardship in my mind. I truly have the best parts of life and the rest is just tasty because it dangles in my face everyday but if I can overcome my list of desires I feel like I can find so much more contentment for my place in this life. It's a good place but I often feel a lack. A lack of family, friends, community, my own home, lack of myself, time blah blah blah. This is silly. I have everything i truly need. I need to start thinking that I am just on a vacation from ME, so I can be fully present for MY family. Whom I will practice loving even more this year. 

The week was very awakening on many levels. I didn't spend the passing year with my Mr. Peek or my family but I learned to love another one. 

I was staring at the face of my sleeping angel as the year turned.

 I am still alive and I am still growing and learning so much. The Earth is a magical place and speaks so clearly if we can just listen more.  One of the days while I was walking the beach with Mazi, the ocean was perfectly still, no waves, no breeze, silence. It was quiet and I know I was paying attention to the message. The Earth, in all the chaos that is reaping on her surface and in her skies, is still at peace, at peace with what is going on around her, positive, negative, no matter what she is at peace and can find stillness. I too can follow the example presented to me from the Divine. Stillness and peace will flood my heart too.

 I am looking forward to listening to what this universe desires of me as i let go of my own desires and Love everything in my world more, while enriching my yoga practice daily. 

Happy New Year,  I welcome 2014!

Mazi Meets Santa!!

We visited Santa at our local nursery which was a much more private setting than the malls. No kids were around except the cute little Santa's helper thats pictured with us. Amazing looked at the white bearded man who was approaching her and instantly wrapped her arms around my neck, started kicking her feet and burying her face in my chest. She would look at him but didn't want anything to do with him, and she really didn't like him entering her safety space. 

She has read many books about him and seen his picture all over but I'm not sure she realized he was a large fat Real man.  Its almost like she knew he wasn't the real deal and she wasn't going to be fooled.  He was an odd little santa, kinda insecure and closed off which really didn't help his energy around Amazing, who reads people very very well.

We sat next to him and she about jumped over my shoulder to get away she didn't want to have anything to do with this picture and to me it looks perfect!

Lets just say I think Mazi would be much happier if she were to be introduced to baby Jesus. She can't get enough of him and points him out in any nativity scene. we set up some christmas lights, a tiny tree and about 7 small nativity scenes around the house for our decor and she is inthralled with the baby Jesus in each one. 

These two photos were taken exactly one year apart... 

Merry Christmas My Dear Friends!

This photo collage personalized with Smilebox

A winter in wonder land.

I'm back in Tennessee. Land of rain and traffic. I feel content in my heart for the time being. Spending thanksgiving with family is very comforting and filled with joy, and good food.

It has given me a warmth in my heart that hopefully, won't wear off for an extended period of time. 

I was welcomed by the arms of a loving man and a few of the dear friends I've made while I've been away from my home. Mazi was more than happy to see he father and wakes up every morning looking over to his side of the bed to check for his presence. When she sees him she squeals, "Hi Daa-Dee!" We both smile with the inner joy that only parents can have for such a sweet soul. I accept my place in life right now, it's not big, it's not noticed but it's where I am and I am suppose to be here. I see so much for me. My visions of creation and creativity are astoundingly strong right now. Somehow I don't know what direction I'm to go and where I'm to focus my energy outside of Amazing grace. For now I am just staying present and watching her explore her first Christmas season in her body of awareness.

She is loving the colors, the lights, the magical trees and her many many trips to the small privately owned toy stores that cover nashville. This season seems so special, even if I'm away from my lovely family I am with MY family. Our tree is 3 ft tall and filled with simple small glass balls. We have three stockings and I am looking for the perfect nativity scene that I can't live without. 

It's small. It's simple. It's what our life is right now and I am trying to embrace it. 

I must thank my family. Especially parents for the wonderful time in my home land. Those friends who took the time from their busy lives to be part of my world for a bit. I love you all so dearly and want you to know the importance you have in my life. 

Let the Christmas season begin! Ho Ho Ho!